Wednesday, November 23, 2016

I Give You the Party of the People.....the BBQ Party

So I’m sitting here at the computer musing on the most recent events in our great nation’s history. Namely, I am referencing the local and national elections. Be you Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Communist, Socialist, Fascist, Leftist, Marxist, Misfit, I’m-gonna-make-it-fit, or any other type of ist, I think we can all agree we’ve had enough political banter to last us for a bit. However, I submit to you, the American people, that there is yet another party to be included…..no it isn’t a keg party. I say we unite and have the National BBQ Party. Our platform would be inclusive of all Americans regardless of race, color, creed, sex, national origin, region, or cooking style. Sweet or savory; hot-and-fast or low-and-slow; pork, beef, or chicken; hard woods or fruit woods, all would be welcomed with open pits. Let us align ourselves not with a particular style, but instead let us unite in the bonds of sweet, smoky goodness. Let us build upon each other’s successes as we openly shig ideas from our neighbors. Let us all drink from the communal cup of Pink Drink as we celebrate one another’s name being called often and called last. Our platform will be built upon the planks of heat, smoke, spice, and meat: Independently each has its own strengths, but when brought together, the four meld into harmonious, lip-smacking goodness. In this party, everyone is an ambassador of good will and good food. Wars would be abolished with competitions resolving the issues between nations and teams. Under Communism, there were only two classes: The working Proletariat and ruling Bourgeois. In the BBQ Party, there will be several classes….often taught locally by a successful pitmaster for a nominal fee of $500.00-$900.00 visa, mastercard, and paypal accepted with ½ off for a spouse. In a Democracy, the majority rules. In the BBQ Party, the ‘Q’ rules, with different but very similar rules depending on the sanctioning body. Sure, we’ll have our little factions: FBA, KCBS, IBCA, etc.; however, the hub of our party will revolve around the wheel connected to the 25” long, air-conditioned, satellite t.v.-equipped, custom-built, competition trailer. Meeting, greeting, and eating with the masses will be our rallying cry. Our banner will be stained with the spilled BBQ sauce and blood of fingers cut. Together, the BBQ Party can make cooking outdoors grate (misspelling intended) again. (Insert Hail to the Chief music here) So, my fellow Americans, I put forth to you the following: Ask not what BBQ can do for you, but what can you do to make really good BBQ? Stand up! Unite! And Ignite………Those Fires! (I’m Jeff Stone and I approved this message). Riley says “Hello and for y’all to have a safe and happy Thanksgiving.” Jeffery S. Stone Grandpa’s Pride BBQ